We’ve spent years showing up for everyone else
Hen parties, weddings, baby showers, christenings.
You’ve turned up, dressed up, and shown up – with thoughtful gifts, kind words, and genuine excitement. Because you truly are happy for them.
But somewhere along the way, you start to wonder… who’s showing up for me?
When you’re the single friend, life milestones look different
When you’re the friend who never got married and never had kids, life can feel a little bit like you fell off the radar.
There’s no built-in milestone that prompts people to book flights, buy cards, or raise a glass in your name.
And that’s fine – until it isn’t.
Because you still have moments that deserve to be celebrated!
You still have big wins, small wins, birthdays, career highs, personal breakthroughs, healing, heartbreaks, brave choices, and the kind of growth that deserves its own standing ovation.
I can do better too
And I’ll be honest, I’m not perfect at this either. I try to always make the effort, but I can also do better at remembering to celebrate my friends and family, in the everyday ways that matter.
It’s easy to get caught up in our own chaos and forget how much a little gesture can mean.
But they really do mean so much!
When you’re single, who makes you feel special?
For a few years, I had a boyfriend who was brilliant at that sort of thing. He noticed everything, made every birthday, every achievement feel special. It was wonderful to feel so cared for and important to someone.
But when that relationship ended, I realised how few people actually take that role on once you’re single again.
It’s like once you’re not someone’s partner, you’re not anyone’s “responsibility” anymore. Everyone’s busy, everyone has kids, and life gets in the way.
And then you realise you’ve spent so much of your life cheering for others, making an effort to celebrate their life choices, but if you don’t follow the traditional milestones, you can’t help but wonder if anyone will ever cheer for you in quite the same way. Put in quite the same effort.
And that’s exactly why young women start to feel pressured into following the conventional path. They don’t want to be left behind, they want to be seen, and acknowledged in the same way. To feel that what they’ve done with their life matters too. So they make decisions that may not be true to themselves, and what they actually want from life.
Will you show up when I’m DEAD?
We have to start normalising celebrating our friends outside of marriage and motherhood.
Because there’s so much more to life than those two milestones.
Otherwise, the next time everyone gets together to celebrate you might be your funeral – and you’ll miss it!
How crazy is that? People will find the time and make the effort to celebrate you when you’re dead, but when you’re alive, they’re “too busy”, “can’t afford it”, or “forgot.” WTF?
Let’s celebrate all kinds of milestones
Let’s celebrate the friend who launched her own business.
The one who travelled solo.
The one who finally left the job that was crushing her.
The one who started therapy.
The one who bought her own home.
The one who walked away from an unhappy relationship.
The one who ran a marathon.
The one who just. kept. going – even when it was so unbelievably hard.
It’s about the little things
It’s more than just remembering birthdays. It’s sending a “proud of you” message. Planning a surprise “you’re amazing” lunch. Making sure they receive something special on their birthday. Showing up when it matters – because nobody wants to have to ask to be celebrated.
I’m lucky, I have some incredible friends who do show up – who celebrate the big and small wins, just because they know they matter to me.
Be your friends’ cheerleader
Let’s look out for each other.
Let’s make sure our friends feel seen.
Let’s make sure we’re celebrating all kinds of milestones – not just the ones society taught us to prioritise.
Because we all deserve to feel special sometimes.
Especially us single gals – we have to be each other’s person. 💛
