I have spent the last ten years of my life swiping, dating, trying to find “the one,” all the while watching my friends tie the knot, one by one sharing that Instagram post we all dream of sharing with a photo of them beaming with delight at the gigantic diamond ring on their finger.
“I SAID YES!”
Fucking hell, another wedding to go to… alone. Always the DSF (drunk single friend) who all the couples take pity on during the first dance and invite you to join their romantic swaying like some sort of sad little threesome.
**Couples, please stop doing this immediately. This does not make your DSF feel relieved and included, it simply makes them feel like a giant twatty LOSER.**
Then just to add insult to injury, the fact that you are single and alone is highlighted to the entire Wedding party when all the single ladies are forced to stand in a desperate huddle, to try and catch the fucking bouqet… oh pleasssseee let me be next!! This tradition pisses me off the most - just let us stay under the radar, enjoying a drink or ten at the bar in peace.
Also, please note, every time you tell a single person that "it will happen when you least expect it" they may smile and nod in agreement, but they instantly want to punch you in the face.
So in summary... leave us the fuck alone to enjoy the wedding. Thank you.
Comments